"SuperSize," rev. 2

Continuing on yesterday's update, I've found a quote and a Scripture that express what I meant to say more than anything. I read the following right before I went to sleep last night, and I thought it was positively perfect.

I was made to see that if ever I would suffer rightly, I must first pass a sentence of death upon everything that can be properly called a thing in this life, even to reckon myself, my wife, my children, my health, my enjoyment, and all, as dead to me, and myself as dead to them. The second was, to live upon God that is invisible.

John Bunyan, Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners

Exactly. What I talked about yesterday regarding the cruise is given proper light with this statement. The next comes from Paul.

...according to my earnest expectation and hope, that I will not be put to shame in anything, but that with all boldness, Christ will even now, as always, be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose.

But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better; yet to remain on in the flesh is more necessary for your sake.

Paul, Philippians 1:20-24

Paul struggled with something similar. On the one hand, he just wanted to die and have all that is holding him back from Christ removed. That was "very much better" to him. But on the other, he wanted to stay and see the Philippians (and indeed, the Romans and the other body of believers scattered throughout Asia Minor) established in Christ. And he said he was "hard-pressed" and did not "know which to choose."

That's it, right there. Cruise or Uganda? It sounds ridiculous. That's because it is. I think we'd both rather just die for Christ and be with Him when it comes right down to it.

I used to pray, "Lord, don't come back until I'm married" or some other such request. Now, I'm praying, "Lord, don't let me get married if it will hinder what You have planned for me. Take away my affections for it. In fact, come back today and rid me with having to choose." I think we see Paul's "realness" in those verses above. To be frank, he'd rather just die and move on to the Green Pasture. But God knows best and He is in control utterly.

Side note, I've started an inductive study of John 3. It's so nice to do this again, I've not really taken a passage apart analytically, but have been mostly synthetic in my approach lately. No commentaries, no cross-references (yet), just the Word, the Holy Spirit, a lot of prayer, a pen, some paper, and me. It's wonderful!