January 2004 Archives

Another song I like from the Chris Tomlin album Not to Us that I’m benefitting from is Overflow. I had a thought about it while driving home from my good friend Nathan Carr’s house. Part of the lyrics are:

Like a waterfall You fill my heart to overflow
Like a candle flame You light my way and lead me as I go.

The thought occurred to me: to overflow implies that you’ve been filled. If we’re to overflow in love to others, we must be filled with Him. And we cannot do that. I cannot generate an interest to be filled, much less make the filling happen. I’m entirely and absolutely dependent upon Him for this (hence my interest in the Edwards sermon I’ve referenced before).

If I’m to love like I’m commanded to in the Scripture, it must be the overflow of joy in God. And I’m entirely dependent upon Him for that glimpse of His glory.

So many thoughts, so little time to write them down….

I was reading in Matthew 8 today and came across this verse. This occurs after the disciples were afraid of the storm, and they wake Jesus up and He merely speaks and the sea returns to normal.

And the men marveled, saying, "What sort of man is this, that even winds and sea obey him?"

Can't you picture them... these guys in a boat who have maybe gotten used to Jesus healing sickness and diseases. Yet they realize they are at the utter mercy of the sea at this point and could die. In terrifying fear of the sea, they turn to Jesus for help. And in His helping them, they transfer that fear to Him and recognize that it's Him they should be fearing.

And when I say fear, I don't just mean reverential awe. I mean fear. He has the power to cast all of you (material and immaterial) into hell (Matthew 10:28). I think the disciples experienced this first-hand. I see them after it becomes calm, they're all totally still and quiet, they begin looking at each other, and then whisper with terrified voices, "Who is this Guy?"

It's like cold water to their faces. We feared the storms, but we should have been fearing the Man below the deck sleeping. I just get chills every time I read that passage.

And what should accompany our response of fear? A casting of ourselves at His mercy. That is the only proper response for Him. A few verses later He casts demons out of two men and sends a herd of pigs tumbling off a cliff into the Sea of Galilee, and the people freak out, are afraid, and what's their response?

And behold, all the city came out to meet Jesus, and when they saw him, they begged him to leave their region.

It's like discovering a fire that will absolutely consume you if you go near it. What you need is a flame-proof suit that will allow you to pass through it and enjoy it. We need a righteousness not our own. And He gives it freely in exchange for complete dependence upon Him.

Who is this Guy?

First, a big shout out to my buddy Josh Williams (over at Yellowlane) for his successful completion of another year of life. Don't waste it, bro. (I know, a lot of good a birthday wish does on a website nobody reads)

Amazing how God knows exactly what I need to hear, and He provides it.

A thought has been in my mind much in the past year is: how do I delight in God's gifts without holding onto them so tightly that, when taken away, I don't fall into the self-pitying despair I'm so prone towards? This is a very real problem for me, as God seems to have formed a pattern of giving me gifts I enjoy and then taking them away in the middle of my enjoyment of them. It's hard and I'm honestly scared of leaning on His gifts at all anymore for support, because I pretty much expect He's going to take them away. But I know that's not right anymore than leaning on them so heavily that when they're taken away I fall flat on my face. I want to be able to really mean it when I agree with Job, "The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." (Job 2:21)

In addition to my study of Job and Romans 9, one of the things that's helping me is a sermon by Edwards entitled "God Glorified in Man's Dependence." I'll write more on that later. But the simplest thought has come through a single sentence I read in Desiring God.

There is nothing I want more than You, and there is nothing I want that does not show me more of You.

Read it again. It's profoundly simple.

This doesn't solve my problems. It doesn't let me know when to lean and when to pull back. But it tells me one primary thing: lean on God, and endeavor to make everything else you lean on a leaning on Him. I'm still not eager to lean on gifts very hard right now, even if I try to make it a leaning on Him through them. But, in time I think I will learn more of how to do this by faith.

He's worth leaning on, that's the point. And alone if He sees fit.

Blessed be Your name when the sun's shining down on me,
When the world's "all as it should be," blessed be Your name.
Blessed be Your name on the road marked with suffering,
Though there's pain in the offering, blessed be Your name.

Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise.
When the darkness closes in, Lord, still I will say:

Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be Your name.
Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be Your glorious name.

~ Matt Redman

Amen to that.